Home Finding Your Life PartnerLove is a Science Why Love Is a Neurochemical Roller Coaster

Why Love Is a Neurochemical Roller Coaster

written by Loretta Graziano Breuning, PhD September 13, 2018
Why Love Is a Neurochemical Roller Coaster

Love makes your happy chemicals surge, but they always dip.

Love triggers dopamine, serotonin, and oxytocin. That’s why it’s so motivating. But happy chemicals come in spurts. They do their job by turning off after they turn on. When your happy chemicals dip, you might interpret it as a loss of love. That turns a natural fluctuation into a crisis. You are better off knowing why love makes happy chemicals go up and down.

Love triggers dopamine

Dopamine is the great feeling you get when you find your missing keys. It’s the neurochemical that evolved for seeking and finding. Animals sniff around for food and mating opportunities, and when they find something that meets their needs, dopamine surges. But the surge is short. Dopamine does its job by dropping after it rises, so it’s ready to alert you to the next chance to meet your needs.

When you find your keys, you don’t expect that great dopamine feeling to last. But when you find “the one,” you make so much dopamine that you assume you will soar forever. When the dopamine finally subsides, you wonder what’s wrong. You might even blame “the one” for having changed.

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