In my book, Hindsight, I have a list of questions that you want to make sure to ask a prospective partner. The answers should support or add to your non-negotiable list. The more specific the questions, the better. Feel free to add to the list based on your own deal breakers. Pass the wisdom on. As you know from a previous chapter in this book, we have lost some of our beloved sisters because perhaps they did not have the courage to ask. Be sure to pay attention to what you hear and see.

Questions to Ask a Prospective Partner

Are you married?

Don’t ignore this one; it can be lethal! So many of us pass this one up because we think, “Why would he be flirting with me if he’s married?” Or we don’t want to know because we are so desperate for attention or love that we will take it wherever we can get it. This question, if not asked, will almost always be a cause of great pain, usually yours (and his spouse’s). If he is married, please, please, please don’t fool yourself into thinking you can change this reality. If he is really going to get divorced, let him do so, and then he can give you a call.

Are you currently involved in a relationship or seeing anyone?

Now, you may say, “What if he’s lying?” Good question. How do we know? This is why I recommend not getting physical until you find out if what this person says and what they do match up. Everywhere—at work, with his family, friends—it all has to make sense. You want to be sure they are living in integrity to a great degree so you don’t get so attached that you become blinded to their character. No one is perfect, but some things are just plain non-negotiable.