There are times when one person is so preoccupied with themselves or some personal life challenge, that they do not have the energy to devote to caring for their relationship. It lessens the integrity, strength, and vitality of the partnership when only one of the pair is nourishing it. One person’s committed attention can only keep the relationship healthy for a limited period. Holding the commitment for two is exhausting.

In the case of Gabe and Sasha, it was Sasha who carried the commitment for both of them. She handled most of the housework, childcare, and also worked outside the home. She was the one who brought up the issues that needed to be addressed. She was the one to forgive when Gabe spent a lot of time with his single guy friends, forgetting agreements he made. He was only minimally involved with their child, leaving the lion’s share of the baby’s care to Sasha.