When we were young women, we might have thought the goal in love was to find the one person that we would spend the rest of our lives with. We planned extravagant weddings and spent thousands of dollars to recite our vows in front of those we love. But, as we now know, our weddings weren’t a finish line; they were a crossing of a threshold into the infinitely more challenging task of sustaining a happy, healthy, loving, connected, and committed relationship over the course of decades, through plenty of life challenges with precious little training.

If you find yourself half-way through this marathon called marriage and are wondering why it feels so difficult, here are some questions to explore that will help you to make the second half of your marriage feel a bit easier than the first half.