Valentine’s Day creates a lot of expectations that are often unrealized. It’s fraught with landmines whether you’re in or out of a relationship, and the grass isn’t always greener. Is your situation described here? Read six tips to having a great holiday.

You’re Alone

I can recall Valentine’s Days I wished I were in love with someone who loved me. Worse were Valentine’s Days when I missed an ex or spent time thinking about someone who wasn’t in love with me. Looking back, what was sad was that I made myself unhappy and ruined days thinking about “if only.”

You’re in a New Relationship

Another Valentine’s trap happens when you’re newly in love. It may be the first Valentine’s Day of your relationship, and you wonder whether your partner will surprise you with something special. Will he or she ignore the day or hopefully say the unmentionable, four-letter L-word?

You’re stressed about whether your card should be funny or mushy. Fears of humiliation and abandonment restrain you from being more vulnerable with your feelings than your partner. You don’t want your feelings rejected or to scare off him or her.