Who knew you would ever be as old as your grandparents seemed to you! But now it’s happened. You’re going to be a grandma or grandpa. Amid all the joy and excitement when you hear that an addition to your family is on its way, you may have questions and feel trepidation. You may wonder how involved you’ll be in your grandchild’s life, and how the baby will change your relationship with your adult child.

To have a healthy and happy relationship with your child and grandchild, you need to set healthy boundaries with them and they with you. Healthy boundaries are necessary for every type of relationship, and they may change as people change.

Think of boundaries like the “rules of the road” in a relationship. Just like with driving, rules aren’t meant to hurt you but to keep you and everyone around you healthy, happy, and safe. For example, your spouse may know you need thirty minutes of quiet when you first get home from work to shake off the day in order to be a good partner to them. Or you may know that your partner needs a weekly “boys’ night” or “girls’ night” with just their friends. You need to set these same kinds of rules when grandchildren first arrive in your family.