For too many people, separation is a prelude to divorce. Taking time apart from a loved one is often thought of as the end of the relationship. But after 53 years together, and helping to guide thousands of couples, Joyce and I view separation as a sometimes vital necessity in a relationship; one that could very well end without separation.

In our first book, The Shared Heart, we wrote a piece called “Separation into Oneness.” The whole point of separation is to find yourself again, to reclaim your oneness, to fill the cup of your heart and soul. Too many people lose themselves in their relationships, seeing themselves through the eyes of their partners rather than through their own eyes. Of course, there is no guarantee that separation will bring two people back together again. That is the risk of separation.  But finding yourself through separation dramatically increases the odds of a healthier future relationship.