We all know them: Those authentically positive people who are happy with their lives and themselves and are fun to be around. We can see that their lives aren’t perfect and yet, there they are, upbeat, unbroken, and resilient. They’re not in denial about life’s ups and downs or ignorant; they have accepted what is, but won’t accept that that’s all there is. They know themselves, know what they want, and strive for it. This attitude and way of being are what I call “realistic positivity.”

I’ve been a therapist in Santa Monica for over 35 years, and I’ve learned that those with realistic positivity keep improving with age — their happiness, health, achievements, and contentedness only grow. But people aren’t born this way; we all have the potential to become like them. I believe realistic positivity is the key to happiness as we age, and there are a few things you can do to become this kind of person.