Being perfect is one way to manage being an outsider in your own family, school, city, or country. And feeling like an outsider is a pretty typical experience for young gay people. Too often, they can also feel like they are gross, disgusting, or sick. It can be quite humiliating to grow up gay.
Look under the surface of “out and proud” gay men and you’ll frequently find these old tapes lurking inside, running in the background.
What Gay Perfectionism Looks Like
Here’s what gay perfectionism looks like for men I’ve worked with. All their names have been changed. Do any of these feel familiar to you?