Introduction

Our topic is letting go, one of the five essential inner skills – the others being awareness, insight, taking in the good, and using the will. (For background, please see the Five Essential Skills articles.)

We use letting go whenever we relax, get stress relief, release painful feelings like worry or anger, take things less personally, or drop thoughts that make us and others unhappy (like self-criticism or illogical fears).

Letting go is an action of the mind – just like letting go of a tissue into a trash can is an action of the hand. It is completely natural. For example, in terms of the body, you let go every time your exhale or use the bathroom. Fundamentally, letting go is the opposite of the clinging that leads to suffering. And thus, it is very much in line with mindfulness and meditation.

A word about experiential exercises:

This article will have some experiential exercises. As we’ve said before, when we do any experiential activities, feel free to opt out of them if you feel overloaded or uncomfortable. This is a lesson on inner skills, not therapy, and it is no substitute for professional care of body, mind, or spirit.

That said, sometimes exercises bring things up – especially if a person has had traumatic experiences in the past, or is  currently in the middle of a difficult relationship. Be kind to yourself first and foremost; as they say, “First of all, do no harm.” Feel free to skip an exercise, pull out of it once it starts, or deliberately take a fairly superficial and safe slice at it. And if anything comes up for you that is significantly difficult, we invite you to contact us.

Also, please know that some of the exercises will suggest that you try to become aware of something, or do something, within your own mind. If you are unable to become aware of or do that something, that is all right. Maybe that is a sign to yourself to be cautious and take your time with that particular material. Or a sign to investigate it further, on your own.