A while ago, I was laid off from a 9-5 job. Mind you, it was not a job that I particularly loved, and I remember feeling a bit bored and stifled with its day-in and day-out responsibilities that were neither intellectually nor emotionally/spiritually sustaining.

Nevertheless, I started to panic, because at least it paid the bills and the thought of financial uncertainty terrified me.

But here’s where my own missteps came in: As I started to assemble a resume, apply for new jobs, desperately hoping I would find employment soon, a voice in the back of my head chimed in.

I’ll feel so much better once I get that job interview!

I know everything will be okay once I get the job offer.

I will be happy again once I am in a new job.

Once I get that first paycheck, I know I’ll smile and feel better about everything.

Do you see the dangerous pattern going on here?

You’ve probably done something like this, too. And it can sabotage your ability to move on.

Relying on External Factors to Make you Happy

During the next few months, we are going on a quest. And that quest is learning how to take our lives back. But we cannot do that if we are dependent on outside factors to shape how we move on from divorce.