The word “neediness” may refer to what Buddhism calls clinging and craving. We perpetuate our suffering through desperately craving things outside of ourselves. Underlying this tendency is a sense of emptiness and a lack of self-nurturing resources. However, many people are so afraid of seeing themselves as needy that they jettison their unavoidable need for loving connections.

Wired for Connection

We grow up in a society that worships independence. Having needs for something outside of ourselves is often viewed as a weakness. We internalize the message that we should be “strong,” which we interpret as standing on our own two feet without needing support from anyone.