Take it easy. Chill out. Relax. Cool down. Don’t stress out. Lighten up. You’re making a mountain out of a molehill. It’s not a big deal. When I didn’t keep my word regarding something that I told my wife I would do, I used to say these things when I didn’t want to hear her complaints. And back in the day, there were quite a few such instances — like being ready to leave for the airport to catch a flight, or picking up groceries we needed for dinner, or remembering not to make any commitments that might interfere with our planned nights out, or, well, you get the picture.

These instances happened frequently.

As much as Linda hated to be disappointed with me, I hated hearing the feelings that my negligence provoked — partly because I felt scolded for doing something wrong, but mostly because she had a right to her emotions, and I was guilty of dropping the ball again. Hearing her disappointment also put me directly in touch with her feelings, reminding me that I had something to do with them, which didn’t feel good.