No one taught us how to divorce peacefully, so most of what we see others doing is both hurtful and hateful. But if you can embody these tips to divorce differently, your divorce can look and feel very different than other people’s experiences.

Where did this list of tips come from? Well, one of my clients comes from a very conservative religious background. She struggled with reconciling the thought of potentially leaving her marriage with her beliefs.

I had to giggle a bit when she asked me:

If I am to walk through the terrifying process of un-winding my marriage, what are your ten commandment equivalents I will need to follow to make it through that process without losing myself or my sanity?

So, here are my ten tips to divorce differently (or should I say, “commandments”?).

Ten Tips to Divorce Differently

One: Release the need for anyone else to understand

Release the need for anyone else to understand your reason for the decision you’ve made for yourself. If they happen to understand (or pretend to understand) … that’s lovely, but it’s not necessary in order for this decision to be valid and real for you.