Coping with emotional triggers in your own life and in your relationship.
Identifying Your Emotional Triggers is the First Step to Handling Them Better
Do you know what triggers you?
Most emotional triggers are related to certain needs in our life.
The list below enumerates some of the most common emotional triggers. We react when we feel that we are not getting, or will not get, these needs met.
- Acceptance
- Attention
- Autonomy
- Balance
- Comfort
- Consistency
- Freedom
- Fun
- Love
- Order
- Peacefulness
- Predictability
- Respect
- Safety
- Being in control
- Being included
- Being liked
- Being needed
- Being right
- Being treated fairly
- Being understood
- Being valued
Now choose three items which, when not met, will most likely ignite a reaction in you. Be honest with yourself. Which needs do you hold most dear? You may also reflect on previous instances where you were triggered. Which ones have been constantly reappearing?
Needs are not bad.
However, when you get attached to these needs, your mind becomes conditioned to look out for circumstances that threaten to deny you of your needs. These threats or unmet needs then become your emotional triggers.
Examine the situation and ask yourself: Are you really losing this need? Is the person deliberately denying your need? Or maybe you’re just taking the situation too personally?
