Yes, it can be a real problem to be bored with one’s spouse. It’s a frequently voiced complaint we hear from clients and workshop participants. Fortunately, this condition can usually be easily fixed. Unfortunately, the source of the problem is generally in the last place that you want to look.

That would be at yourself.

Sometimes the very things that originally attracted us to our partner, those wonderful qualities, such as predictability, stability, and reliability that they bring into our fragmented and tumultuous life, over time can become the source of aggravation and irritation. At one point in a relationship these things may feel like security, at another, they can feel oppressively boring. Your partner probably hasn’t changed, and neither have you. Those qualities in him or her that you initially found so attractive are still there; it’s just that they are less evident to you because your focus is on those aspects of your partner that you find unattractive.