To be vulnerable with a woman is to allow yourself to be seen and known in your entirety, not just your powerful, independent, secure, loving and capable self. Yes, you love a woman by being powerful, by protecting her from all harm, by fathering the little girl inside her, and by gently taking the lead. But without vulnerability your love is incomplete.
What it Means to be Vulnerable
To be vulnerable is to show her your fear, pain, shame, and need for love. Showing your vulnerability, by the classic definition, is showing your weakness and therefore showing the way to be attacked and defeated. This is the military model. If you’re fighting in a battle, you avoid vulnerability. The problem is that this model is entirely useless if you’re striving for intimacy. Many of us have been programmed since our early days on the playground to avoid vulnerability so we wouldn’t get attacked by other kids. The choice is clear. Do we want to avoid vulnerability with our beloved, or do we want to feel the heights of love?
