We often get physical with people before we actually know much about them. The questions may be tough, but they will help you avoid being hurt later.

Ask About Past Choices and Health

Have you ever been in jail?

You probably have not been in jail, but it doesn’t hurt to know if he has been there; it could be a deal-breaker, depending on the infraction. Perhaps, as in my case when I finally asked, the person you are seeing has been in jail several times, including a DUI and for attempted manslaughter. The person I interviewed had hit and seriously injured a little girl and had spent six months in jail. Does this make him a bad person? Heavens, no. In this case, he was the sweetest, most loyal, adoring man in many ways. But it did tell me that he was a sick person who struggled with addiction. Which, given my background, was a deal-breaker.

And there are other legal and moral deal breakers, such as dealing drugs, addictive gambling, theft, violence, spousal abuse, being a sex offender, and the list goes on. Refer to your non-negotiables. You will be surprised what you can find out about someone if you genuinely care to know. By that same token, you may well be surprised what a quick Google search can reveal as well. A little effort can reveal a lot.