RD&T’s contributing writer, Maryanne Comarota, PhD, discusses addictive love and codependent relationships. Learn what you can do if you are in an addictive relationship.
The Greeks had five words to describe the different levels of love. Eros: passionate love, essential desire, and longing, romantic love; philia: friendship, loyalty; storge: natural affection; agape: selfless giving; and thelema: desire or will to do something.
In the English language, we have many states of feeling that describe different elements of love: idolization, affection, devotion, worship, infatuation, lust, passion, and rapture. None of which are synonyms for love, as we only have the one word for that; love itself.
My husband and I, who have spent an inordinate amount of time mulling over the finer points of love’s various meanings, have come up with our own adaptation that was part of our sacred marriage vows: I want what you want for yourself.
Addictive Love
Then there is another subcategory of love we Westerners recognize as being “in love.” It’s a kind of “objective” love: the state in which we project our affection onto another person and vice versa, which evolves into a more mature version, characterized as an act of giving without expectation, i.e. respect, affection, adoration, etc.
