Underlying all addictive behavior is the intent to avoid the deeply painful existential feelings of loneliness, grief, heartbreak, and helplessness over others.
Food, sugar, alcohol, drugs, nicotine, and caffeine, as well as process addictions such sex, spending, gambling, TV, and so on, are being used addictively when they are a way to avoid feeling your pain and taking responsibility for it. Substance and process addictions are the primary ways the ego wounded self anesthetizes against pain. When there is no loving adult to connect with your guidance and learn from your pain, the wounded self takes over to create safety with the addictive behavior it has learned.
