A primary law of relationships is that we are not attracted to someone who is just like us. The phenomenon of complementarity dictates that in general we will be attracted to people who are very different from, or perhaps in some ways even the opposite of, ourselves.
The reason for this is simple: within each of us, there is an intrinsic longing to experience wholeness. This yearning draws us to people who are more developed in certain areas than we are.
Unfortunately, the same qualities that attract us initially to our partner can start driving us crazy after the infatuation wears off.
Being Both The Teacher and The Student
The very lessons that we unconsciously invited this person into our life to teach us, we will resist. Rather than appreciate the opportunities that our partner’s differences provide for us to learn, grow, and expand our sense of self, we are more apt to resent those differences, feel threatened and annoyed by them, and try to get our partners to change, that is, to become more like they should be, that is, more like us!
