A couple’s sexual relationship can be a mirror of the whole relationship. What happens during love-making can offer a reflection of the condition of the rest of the relationship. There is no such thing as having a poor relationship but great sex. “Great” sex may mean that both partners have an orgasm but, if there is no fulfillment in the rest of the relationship, there can be no real fulfillment in sex either. A physical orgasm can never satisfy spiritual hunger.

Likewise, there are couples who seek help for a “sexual” problem but feel the rest of the relationship is fine. A “fine” relationship to some may mean the absence of conflict, but this is usually due to fear and lack of safety between the two partners. Conflict is unavoidable in an intimate relationship, but partners need to feel safe enough with each other before they will risk saying something that may oppose the other partner. Absence of conflict can never be equated with harmony, just like the lack of war between nations does not necessarily mean peace.