When was the last time you were at a gathering and someone said it was a relief that his or her partner wanted less sex? These days, you’re more likely to hear triumphant murmurs about someone having their vagina resuscitated, lubricated or lasered; or libidinous tales of 4-hour erections and stories about dating a 20-something tantra-teacher. In the face of this, who wants to admit they want less sex?

Yet, in the awkward pause that follows these recitations – right after the giggling and just before the guzzling of Chardonnay and chomping of chips – we can glimpse the surface we are skating on. You can almost hear it: the shadow of sexual disempowerment uneasily gurgling to the surface – the unspoken longing for closeness and the pain of disconnection.