If each person in a relationship is able to talk about how he or she is feeling, the relationship usually remains close and healthy. Yet, if a person expresses his or her true feelings and he or she is immediately dismissed or invalidated, the person may find themselves re-explaining, desperate to be understood. Continually having to clarify feelings that seem to “fall on deaf ears” often causes a person to feel like they are “banging their head against the wall.”

In addition, when a person is required to repeatedly re-explain how and what they are feeling because their partner isn’t getting it, they are often perceived as blowing things out of proportion or unable to let things go. Yet, the person simply wants to feel understood. If their partner “got it” the first time, bundles of energy, time, frustration, anger, and resentment may be avoided. The time spent in conflict and strife would probably be replaced with fun and play.