This is Part Two of a three-part series. Find part one here and part three here.
7. Get moving during times of intense conflict.
Psychology expert, Dr. Daniel Siegel teaches that when we change our physical state through movement or relaxation, it can actually change our emotional state.[1]
This is why smiling more makes you happier, or if you take short, shallow breaths, it can make you feel more anxious.[2]
When it comes to helping with a conflict you are having with your partner, exercise is a great way to calm your emotional brain, and it helps you regain control of your thinking brain. So the next time you feel like you’re stuck in a stalemate in your argument, take a break and go out for a quick workout session.
What to do:
When you and your partner are going through an intensely emotional and heated argument, consider taking a short break to go for a walk or hop on a bike. Engaging in physical movement will prove beneficial and productive to your conversations.
8. Uncover implicit memories that drive unhealthy behaviors.
There are two categories of memory known as explicit and implicit memories:
- Explicit memories – Events and information that you can consciously remember.
- Implicit memories – Memories that you can feel and experience.
Think of the first time you learned to ride a bike. You can remember placing your hands on the handlebars and your feet on the pedals. Remembering this information is possible because of your explicit memories.
Now let’s say it’s been ten years since you’ve ridden a bike; if you hop on one today, you’re able to ride the bike just like you did back then. This is because your implicit memories have kicked in and you remember the feeling of what it was like to ride. You can compare it to something like muscle memory.
