There can be many battles within a relationship, and there are some classic and common male/female conflicts. One classic battle is between affection and sex. Aligning two people’s desires is essential or it can cause problems in a relationship.

For example, Dan is complaining and pressuring Carrie all the time, she feels, for more sex. Carrie’s response is that she is rarely in the mood for sex because Dan is always irritable and always pressuring her. She would like Dan to be more affectionate, and when she is affectionate, to not always expect sex and get grumpy when it doesn’t lead to that. Dan says that he is irritable because he is always sexually frustrated, and, no, he doesn’t expect sex every time Carrie is affectionate, but…never?

Problem Areas

1. Different Male/Female Ways of Connecting

Carrie’s complaint is common. Unless she feels close to Dan, it is difficult for her to be sexual; to feel close she is looking for non-sexual affection and an overall close, positive relationship. Dan’s irritability and pressure are exactly the opposite of what she needs, and this causes her to pull away.