I always wanted to be more successful. As a kid growing up poor in a rich neighborhood, I read every book I could find about how to be more successful. And I tried everything those books told me to do. But somehow, things never quite worked out the way they said it would.

Those books often suggested that going after what you want with a full head of steam will make people “bend to your will.” Now, I don’t know about you, but I have never found that to be the case.

In nearly every case where I tried that, I ended up burning bridges, alienating people, and certainly not getting what I wanted from the situation. And, even if I did “win” or succeed, it was only at the cost of relationships, happiness, peace of mind, and personal health — a “Pyrrhic victory”: a victory won at a staggering cost, which is really no victory at all.

I have often said that during this time in my life, I didn’t merely burn bridges. I blew them up.

The years went by. I kept reading more and more books, doing what “they” said, and trying my darndest to make the information work. But things never seemed to work out the way they said it would.